The Everyman, blessed Sisyphus

But here it comes, that heavy love
You’re never going to move it alone 
Here it comes, that heavy love 
Tattooed on a criminal’s arm 
Here it comes, that heavy love 
Someone got to share in the load 
Here it comes, that heavy love 
You’re never going to move it alone 

I’ve been really getting into this song “Shell Games” by Bright Eyes. I love the music but, more than that, I find the Lyrics echo strangely with me.

He’s got a free download available over at betterPropaganda. Have a listen. See if it’s as raw and profound for you as it seems to me.

There’s this sense of sadness or frustration; a sense that things aren’t the way they should be, that everything is so pointless, repetitive, and inescapable. I think that recently I’ve been going through some frustrating times. Don’t get me wrong on this; I am still massively blessed, and have a great life situation. I’m pretty happy, and my problems are pretty good problems to have. 
That said, regardless of how good your life is, things can still get frustrating. Decisions, disillusionment, conflict and frustration at the fact that I can’t organise things the way I would like is just draining sometimes. How do you balance trying to serve and love, and commit to these things, with a degree that requires flexibility to bend your life around it? How do you balance taking responsibility and acting like a Godly man (1 Corinthians 16:13-14) while not failing that same criteria on another ministry or responsibility? How do you lead and teach without the time to reflect and ponder? How do you find that time without taking it away from building relationships and loving others?
Sometimes it just seems mega hard to work out what we are doing. It’s easy to identify with what Bright Eyes sings;

the everyman, blessed Sisyphus
Slipping steadily into madness
Now that’s the only place to be free

Again, there is a frustrating sense of failure as well – he realises that he can’t do it right, he needs to get past the times he has abused power and privilege, and taken advantage of others. The things we have done need to be taken care of.

If I could change my mind, change the paradigm
Prepare myself for another life
Forgive myself for the many times
I was cruel to something helpless and weak

And that’s not all of it; it’s far too easy to be angry at God for causing things to happen, for not showing me what to do. But I know there’s no reason to be angry – he is working all things for his glory, and my own good. He is allowing me to be alive now, and at his side to find fullness of pleasure and everlasting joy.

I don’t know what this song was written about. For me it rings really strongly with frustration and feelings of futility; often life seems tough, frustrating and futile. But there is more than that. Christ is all.

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)


One comment on “The Everyman, blessed Sisyphus

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think I understand, if that makes things any better. Don't forget that you do nothing, God does everything.I don't know – it helps me when I feel unable to do or help or serve or 'fix' everyone around me to remember that that's not my job, my job is to serve God.But it sounds like you've got that sorted, so I shall stop rambling now.

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